I’m clean, brown (tanned), and nice. Please hire me. I’ll take off my shoes.
| “ | Times like this I almost wish I’d stayed at my original security job that I left 2 and a half years ago. | |||
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| “ | I’d probably be an account manager by now, or at the very least would have had a couple more raises. | |||
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| “ | Not that I’m complaining about my current job, it’s just that it’s seasonal. I might be getting moved to a flex position in a couple weeks. | |||
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| “ | Sure I’d still have a job, but I’d much prefer an actual schedule. | |||
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| “ | So hey, if anyone wants to hire me, I’m willing to do ANYthing… | |||
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| “ | I have impeccable references. #mom #girlfriend #thewar | |||
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| “ | I’d show a portfolio of my previous work, but I’m sure that sundress has been washed by now. | |||
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| “ | I’m also available for marketing purposes. Previous experience includes having my bare torso spraypainted. | |||
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| “ | Need to advertise to astronauts? My shiny bald pate is visible from the International Space Station. | |||
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| “ | I’m also willing to travel. For business purposes, I’ve been to Georgia, Hawaii, Mississipi, and Iraq. | |||
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| “ | Of those mentioned, I’d rather not go to Mississippi again, though. | |||
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